So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
