I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize