I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
