wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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