but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize