My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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