he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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