im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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