Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
i think im in europe. pls send help
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize