I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
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At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
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Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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