Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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