I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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