I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
