He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
