planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
