Where is the hickey?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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