I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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