LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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