this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
