I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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