I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
