a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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