i already hear my dad disowning me
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
