I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
