There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
