That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
