I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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