Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
