you guys were way drunker than both of me
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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