Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So much rum. So many feels.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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