I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
