good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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