: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
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