How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
