On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
