Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize