Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just found a bag of teeth...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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