What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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