can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Dignity is for republicans.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
