I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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