loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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