What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
