great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
