You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize