Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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