so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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