thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
