Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
