Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
