I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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