when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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