i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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