Grow some girl-balls and come out already
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
then he tried to convert me to islam
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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