Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
