no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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