weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
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So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
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She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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