508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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