Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
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